I always struggle to come up with introductions to my posts, so I’ll start by saying that I’m no relationship expert. I have been in a serious relationship for over seven years now and I have learnt a thing or two along the way. Obviously I know we all want different things in relationships and in life in general, so some of these points you probably won’t relate to. But I hope you find something in this post that helps you, even if it’s just seeing something from somebody else's perspective.

(Dress ASOS, Bikini Top Pretty Little Thing, Sunglasses Ray Ban, Sandals Havaianas)

One thing I always made clear to Ricardo right from the start was that I did not want a relationship where you break up every time you get into an argument, and that I always wanted to split the bills together. I’ll go into more details about both these things in the a bit, but whatever it is you want or don’t want from a relationship, make sure that it is clear right from the very start.

I bet you’re thinking ‘well, no shit Sherlock’ but really, be honest! Honest to the point where you might even hurt your partner. I have always told Ricardo everything. Back in our first year together I went away to Germany to do a training course, and on the last day me and my friends all went to a bar where our instructor was. My instructor came up to me and was asking how I found the whole training etc, when the whole bar started shouting ‘kiss, kiss!’ they all thought he had a thing for me, but truth is that he had a thing for everyone haha so he gave me a peck. It was meaningless and it was just a joke, but I told Ricardo straight away. I could’ve kept it to myself because he would never find out, but I wanted to tell him. And from that day onwards, Ricardo has never had trust issues, because he knows I will tell him absolutely everything. 

By this I mean so much! Don’t look through their phones behind their back, it’s tacky and it shows that you don't trust your partner at all. Don’t stop them being friends with the opposite sex! Ugh, I can’t tell you how much I get annoyed when couples aren’t allowed to have girl/boy mates. Ricardo has always been fine with me going out for drinks or dinner with male friends and I’ve always been ok with him doing the same. As long as you tell each other everything, it shouldn’t be an issue. Also, don’t tell them who they can and can’t be friends with! Ok look, basically what I’m trying to say is that if they’re gonna cheat on you, they’re gonna do it regardless of all your rules, so just let them run free.

Just because you’re in a relationship doesn’t mean you need to be together all the time. Have time alone, or hang out with your friends without your partner there. Let them have time alone with their friends too! Obviously there will be days where you will hang out all together, but it’s important to have time away from each other. Also, it makes it more special when you are together again.

I just had to take a deep breath for this one, because WHY is it an issue for your boyfriend to like another girls picture? Omg!! Seriously! I don’t get it?? Maybe I’m just a very chilled girlfriend, but I really don’t care if my boyfriend likes another girls picture. It’s only a picture. So many times I’m scrolling through Instagram and I see a hot girl and I go and show my boyfriend. I’m the kind of girlfriend that will tell her boyfriend to look when a fit girl walks by haha. If you’re secure in your own relationship, things like this shouldn’t come between you. 

I’ve lost count of how many amazing surprises Ricardo has done for me, especially when we were long distance. But it’s the things he does for me every single day that make me so incredibly thankful to have found someone like him. When I’m doing early shifts he'll wake up at 4am, make me breakfast while I do my makeup, packs my lunch for work, irons a shirt for me if I don’t have one already, and he drives me all the way to the airport. He’s been doing this for over four years! And I do the same for him - apart from drive him to work because I don’t have a license haha. It’s the small things that count. So yeah, just show each other you care, even if it’s just leaving a post-it note saying ‘good morning’.

With this I just mean respect each other, and don’t break up every time you disagree on something. I had this friend who was changing her relationship status on Facebook every time her and her partner got into an argument. I just think that if you have to constantly break things up, is it even worth being in the relationship? If you were married you wouldn’t be getting a divorce every five minutes, so why do it when you’re just boyfriend and girlfriend?

I knoooow! I’ve been there, we all want a bad boy in our life, but we are worth so much more ladies! Back in my teens I used to love the bad boys. I always wanted to be the girl that would tame them. What a loser. But luckily at 18 I realised I deserved better. You’re never going to have peace of mind, you’re never going to stop overanalysing things, you’re never going to stop playing games if you go for a bad boy. Just know your worth and know that you deserve to be treated like a fucking queen!

If you think you’re allowed to do something, make sure you’re ok with your partner doing it too. Also, make sure you split the bills. I know this might be a controversial topic, but I really do believe in sharing things. Of course it’s ok when you want to treat your partner to a nice meal, or they want to do the same for you, just don’t expect them to be paying all the time. Me and Ricardo have always split things, or if he treats me today, I’ll make sure to treat him tomorrow. 

There is so much more that goes into making relationships work, and like I said at the very beginning of this post, we all want and look for different things in relationships. But wether you agree or disagree with the things I mentioned, I hope you enjoyed reading it anyway.

Lots of love, SFS.

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